hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
