apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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