Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
third nipple confirmed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize