We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
