Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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