maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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