no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
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There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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