Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
