We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
