How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
