3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
worst night to have a conscience
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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