Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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