So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
