there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
