God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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