he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
