he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
