we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
