Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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