All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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