bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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