I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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