in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Randomize
