the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
