playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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