Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm both gender and math confused
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
