Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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