The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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