therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
