my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
