I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
