I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
