We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
