We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My balls are so social today.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
