Redeem this text for a blowjob
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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