Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
