Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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