YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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