I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
