Pappa wants mamma naked
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize