This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
