totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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