I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
