Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
