do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
