I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
