So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
