He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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