Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
