I heard we made out
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
