Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
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Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
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No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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