I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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