Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
