you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
