Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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