you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
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That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize