dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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