the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
did i just pee glitter
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
