Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
