he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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