This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
