She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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